The Transgender Dictionary

Dating Advice

Table of Contents

Introduction

Dating is not something that is specific to transgender people, however the topic of transgender people often comes up in the dating world. Being transgender adds on challenges that cisgender people may not always experience. The internet and world is full of advice for typical cisgender men and women trying to navigate relationships, but not so much for transgender individuals.

This page is dedicated to very miscellaneous advice for relationships for various people. If you ignore advice given... well you can't say that you were not warned. Amongst the advice, there are various answers to commonly asked questions related to engaging in relationships with transgender people.

Clicking on underlined words throughout the page will lead you to definitions or pages with topics relating to said words. Clicking on links under [External Links] will lead you to other parts of the internet that are not affiliated with The Transgender Dictionary.

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General Information

People are quite predictible and tend to follow similar patterns of behavior. The thing about people is that everyone thinks that their particular situation is especially unique. They think that even with the same rotten formula that has doomed others (whether they know it or not) will somehow work out for them.

It will always be better to be single than to be in a relationship that makes you feel miserable.

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F.A.Q. For Heterosexual Men

I am a straight man attracted to a trans woman. Am I still straight?
Yes.

I am a straight man attracted to a trans man. Am I still straight?
No.

I am a straight man who was attracted to a pre-transition trans man that has now transitioned after the period time during which we were in a relationship that was romantic and/or sexual in nature; am I retroactively gay and/or bisexual now?
Yes.

If the socks were on was it still gay?
Yes.

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F.A.Q. For Heterosexual Women

I am a straight woman attracted to a trans woman. Am I still straight?
No.

I am a straight woman attracted to a trans man. Am I still straight?
Yes.

I am a straight woman who was attracted to a pre-transition trans woman that has now transitioned after the period time during which we were in a relationship that was romantic and/or sexual in nature; am I retroactively a lesbian and/or bisexual now?
Yes.

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F.A.Q. For Transgender Women

I am a transgender woman in a relationship with a cisgender woman who does not want me to transition or wants to limit my transition. Should I break up with her?
Yes.

I am a transgender woman in a relationship with a cisgender man who does not want me to transition or wants to limit my transition. Should I break up with him?
Yes.

I am a transgender woman who has been on HRT for a long period of time but has not had a penectomy. Is it possible for me to get my partner that has a uterus pregnant during penetrative sex involving my partner's vulva?
Yes, please use contraceptives if you are not intending to have consensual sex that could potentially result in pregnancy.

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General Advice For Transgender Men

Do not attempt to enter a long-term relationship with a size queen.

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F.A.Q. For Transgender Men

I am a transgender man in a relationship with a cisgender man who does not want me to transition or wants to limit my transition. Should I break up with him?
Yes.

I am a transgender man in a relationship with a cisgender woman who does not want me to transition or wants to limit my transition. Should I break up with him?
Yes.

I am a transgender man/boy in a relationship with someone with someone who is treating me like a woman/girl. Should I break up with this person?
Yes.

I am a transgender man in that is currently taking testosterone but has not had a hysterectomy, has not been sterilized, and is not on any birth control. My partner has a penis. If we engage in penetrative sex involving my genitalia, is it possible for me to become pregnant?
Yes, and you should try using contraceptives if you are not intenting on becoming pregnant.

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F.A.Q. For Transgender or Nonbinary People (in general)

I am a transgender or nonbinary person in a relationship with a cisgender person who does not want me to transition or wants to limit my transition. Should I break up with them?
Yes.

I am a transgender or nonbinary person in a relationship with a cisgender person, and I am afraid that my cisgender partner will not accept me if I transition. Should I transition?
Yes, and you should break up with the cisgender partner if they do not accept and respect your transition.

I am a transgender or nonbinary person in a relationship with another transgender person whose sexual orientation contradicts with the nature of our relationship in a way that invalidates my gender identity. Should I break up with my partner?
Yes.

I am a transgender or nonbinary person in a relationship with someone who will break up with me if I transition. Should I transition?

Yes, your personal happiness and well-being should not be reliant on the validation on another person, but rather on happiness in your own self. It is more important that you be comfortable within your own body; rather than someone else be comfortable with your body. You are the one living in it.

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F.A.Q. For Lesbians

I am a lesbian attracted to a trans woman, am I still a lesbian?
Yes.

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F.A.Q. For Gay Men

I am a gay man attracted to a trans man, am I still a gay man?
Yes.

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General Advice

These are scenarios that are very specific. Pronouns have been changed. Contexts have broadened.

Scenario 1

If you are in a relationship with someone who has already hit you multiple times and makes you feel miserable, break up with em. If your partner refuses to use lube, break up with em.

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Scenario 2

Do not attempt to have a long-term relationship with anyone on Grindr. It is a bad idea.

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Scenario 3

If your partner has hit you she will hit you again. Leave her.

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Scenario 4

If someone tells you that you seem like the type to spiral, stop talking to them.

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Chasers

w.i.p.

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The resources below have been provided for education, information sourcing, and entertainment purposes. The views expressed in these videos, websites, etc, do not inherently reflect those of The Transgender Dictionary. These resources are not sponsored, nor endorsed.

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Additional Resources

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See also, sexuality page.

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